by Dan PowellOne day, though not a suspicious person by nature, Claudine decided to spy upon her husband. He had been coming home late more often than not in recent weeks and had been less than attentive for a good deal longer. Though she tried to dismiss the former as simply the outward effect of increasing pressure at work in a difficult economic climate and the latter as nothing more sinister than the natural cooling of their relationship into something harder and more lasting in readiness to weather their final years together, she couldn't shake her deepest fears free from her thoughts.
Unable to confront him she hid in his office as a vase of daffodils, perching unobtrusively on the window sill early one morning. She watched his work day marveling at the tedium of it as he shuffled his way through files and interminable phone conversations with someone called Derek. He disappeared at lunchtime and she turned her trumpeted, petaled heads to the window and watched the clouds. She thought of their life together, up till now an uncomplicated, some might say dull history, unfettered by children or commitments beyond those they had sworn to each other long ago; in short a simple, pretty, quiet little life.
The office door opening and a hushed voice shook her from her reverie.
'But you will tell her, won't you. Soon.'
And Claudine watched unable to move as her husband closed the door behind himself and his secretary, a woman Claudine had met many times before, watched him take her face in his hands and kiss her in a way Claudine could only barely remember being kissed.
'I will,' she heard him say, 'I promise.'
And with those words, unable to distinguish between the betrayal, the blatant cliche of the situation, and the heat from the midday sun blazing at her back, Claudine wilted.
***
APRIL FOOLS!!!!! The fabulous story you read appears here as part of the Great April Fool's Day Friday Flash Blog Swap(GAFDFFBS) organized by the exuberant Tony Noland. Dan Powell, a marvelous writer based in Germany, created A DELICATE FLOWER. You can find my story Divine Wind -- and more of his fiction -- at his website Dan Powell - Fiction. We both wrote based on the prompt: wilted flowers.To read all the dozens of stories swapped around as part of the #GAFDBBS, check out the index at Tony's blog Landless. For more fantastic flash, check out #fridayflash on twitter. We flash every Friday.
Happy Day o' Fools, and peace...
Posts
How clever! And how sad ... poor Claudine. :( Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteOooh, interesting idea of hiding as a vase of flowers.
ReplyDeleteWhat a cool twist on the suspicious wife! They always say that people who listen at keyholes deserve what they hear. The same is clearly true for people who turn into flowers.
ReplyDeleteI love how you don't make a big deal of her turning into a vase of daffodils and because you don't make a big deal of it, I don't question it. Lovely symbolism, too.
ReplyDeleteIronic that the choice of flowers is daffodils - in Manitoba they are a symbol of cancer for Daffodil days - sounds like the relationship...
ReplyDeleteYes Kathy, daffodils are the symbol here in Ontario, too. In fact, my hubby bought me a couple bundles yesterday and they are now cheerfully blooming on the kitchen counter. (I hope they're not the suspicious type.)
ReplyDeleteDan, you are the MAN. This was as fresh as the flowers themselves. And I agree with what Louise said about not making a big deal of it.
Purty, Mr. Dan.
Dan, thanks so much for gracing my blog with your words -- super story, and like Louise said, i love the way you just have her turn into a vase of daffodils like it is no big deal. This has been loads of fun -- thanks for playing. Peace...
ReplyDeleteLove the little touch of magic. Of course, my paranoia has increased - pretty much convinced the Azalea bush out front is from the HR dept.
ReplyDeleteThe length and possibility for family pain would have suckered me in for this being a Linda Original. It went to its own place, though, Dan. Well done. On to the flipside blog!
ReplyDeleteI love how matter of fact it was that she turns into daffodils and how they reflected her state of mind. Well done.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much to all of you for your kinds words. So glad you liked the 'transformation' aspect. My wife likes this story but the unexplained metamorphosis bugs her - she likes her fiction on the realist end of the spectrum.
ReplyDeleteMassive thanks to Linda for hosting my story and allowing me to host hers. This kind of thing is exactly what the internet was made for.
Very inventive! I agree with the others, the fact that you didn't try to explain her hiding as a vase of flowers made it acceptable without much resistance from my mind.
ReplyDeleteI love the simplicity of her response too - she wilted. That's a fitting description for the situation.
this certainly was a fun twist to the flower and fools #FlashFriday
ReplyDeleteVery poignat, poor Claudine. I agree as well, having her in the vase at the start made it seem normal. Enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteInteresting story. The blase way that the transformation occurred was a bit of a jump. I reread it a couple times to make sure I hadn't missed the part about the camera. It's an interesting take and I appreciate the trust in the audience to accept it. Good job.
ReplyDeleteIt would be interesting to explore what other powers she has besides transforming into daffodils. But this is beautiful, just the right details and very sad. Poor Claudine. Maybe she'll unwilt and get her man back ;-)
ReplyDeleteOh, what a heartbreaker of a last line Dan! We often say we'd like to be a fly on a wall, but maybe we'd truly rather not, even if for a while we got to be a beautiful flower instead of an ugly fly.
ReplyDeleteGood story! If she could turn herself into a vase of flowers, though, shouldn't she have just used that know-how to just plant a camera? Then she could have wilted at home when watching it...
ReplyDeleteNicely done. The "she hid in his office as a vase of daffodils" was like the centerpiece disguised as a throwaway. If she has the power to do that, what can she do if motivated to vengeance?
ReplyDelete