Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Missing the Bus

Grey clouds tangled in leafless tree limbs and telephone lines. Gertrude twisted the watch, puzzling at the liver patches circling her wrist. Almost noon -- where was the bus? If she was late who would feed Norry her tomato soup and animal cracker lunch? Who would put her down for her afternoon nap?

The wind whipped leaves into an eddy of bronze and carried the raw smell of impending rain. Perhaps she should not have tarried for coffee after her shift -- her co-workers were such awful gossips. But what wicked fun. And she deserved some fun, Gertrude thought. She worked hard to put the potatoes in the larder.

A bus rumbled past. The Number 9 to City Square. Panic wormed through her stomach and seeped to her chest. Where was the 55 to home? Raindrops splattered her flannel slippers. She looked down at the deepening puddle. Where were her white shoes? She touched her head. Her nursing cap?

The sky cracked open. Gertrude hiccoughed a rending sob and sank knee-first to the muddy ground. She clasped her hands in prayer. Mother Mary, take care of Norry and bring me to her.

A siren wailed lonesome. She crunched her eyes and prayed harder. Behind her, feet pattered closer. Firm hands grasped her shoulders.

“Thank God we found you!”

Gertrude stopped her prayers. She wobbled up and let the kind-faced lady lead her down the street. Something about her eyes reminded her of Noreen.


***

Inspired by this week's 52-250 Flash a Week Challenge Theme: missed the bus.

It's snowing here ;^)

Peace, Linda

19 comments:

  1. I love how you let the thread of this out just a little bit at a time. Beautifully done, as always. I felt that little stab in my heart as I so often do with your work.

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  2. What a beautiful opening line. I love the tone and pace of your stories. I always read them slowly so I can capture every word and every phrase. Like Laurita, I felt a little pange of sadness at the truth of the story hit me.

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  3. Well told story. The sadness really hits at the end.

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  4. This reminded me of my grandmother who lived many years with Alzheimer's and near the end would forget who her children were. Unlike the others, I felt relief not sadness when she was found. Someone loves this woman.

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  5. This has no right to be as sad as it is, Linda. Very short on words and detail, just enough preoccupation with what she finds important to be very emotionally affecting.

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  6. This story is so well told and you yank on the reader's heartstring. But I can't like it. I just can't. That poor gal. Reminds me of when I got off at the wrong bus stop when I was little. I walked around for what seemed like hours trying to figure my way home. Everything looked familiar, but unfamiliar. So disorienting and scary. I want to hug this lady.

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  7. This story is so well told and you yank on the reader's heartstring. But I can't like it. I just can't. That poor gal. Reminds me of when I got off at the wrong bus stop when I was little. I walked around for what seemed like hours trying to figure my way home. Everything looked familiar, but unfamiliar. So disorienting and scary. I want to hug this lady.

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  8. My heart melted for her - I also wanted to hug her to re-assure her that everthing would be ok.

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  9. Oh, this just tightened my chest and took my breath.

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  10. You played out the details masterfully, Linda. The final lines about Noreen's eyes were just dynamite.

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  11. Wow, this one really packs a punch.
    ~jon

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  12. I love the descriptions in this.

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  13. This connected on every level, Linda... And yup, pulled at these heartstrings here.

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  14. I felt the Oh-no sensaion as soon as she touched the cap. Thankfully, the staff nurse found her befoe she wandered off too far. Such a tragic desease. I would rater be hit by a bus or suffer a massive coronary than to linger ad finitum in lost and confusing memories.

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  15. wonderful story, well told, strong character(s). i'm glad the snow drift brought me here. and your comment on my blog.

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  16. Alzheimer's is saddest for the people who love its victims; those who have it are usually oblivious - truly a blessing. Like Laurita says, I particularly enjoyed how you told this story. Lovely, Linda.

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  17. You used the words to describe this scene perfectly. Excellent story with a perfect ending. Glad someone was watching out for her.

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  18. Hello all, thanks for reading and your generous and kind comments. Sorry I've been scarce -- an uncle unexpectedly died -- but I am slowly making the rounds. Happy Christmas! Peace...

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