Spin.Gimme lucky three.
Click.
Third wife, a trio of kiddos, three-bedroom rancher. Once, in Reno, I rolled threesies, won 30k. Still owe that much on the trawler.
Spin.
Clickety-click. Click.
Now, damn boat’s on blocks -- three years ‘til the shrimp come clean. No jobs except drinking. Plum outta luck, one bullet left.
Spin.
***
Inspired by so many things: the 52-250 Flash Challenge theme 'lucky number'; another 55-word story challenge; and theme challenge 'oil'.
But mostly inspired by a quiet report released by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration that finds the BP catastrophe has wrought human troubles as well, including including depression and suicide among those who rely on healthy Gulf water to eke out a living.
Peace, Linda
Posts
As always, brilliant! And very sad. And dark. You do dark so well. I am always impressed by how much you convey with so few words.
ReplyDeleteDo you have any links to that article? I'd be very interested to read it.
P.S. How's Pure? :)
I really love this Linda and am so impressed by the strength of a story with such brevity. It had a rhythm and flow and it had an important message, as well as great voice. Excellent
ReplyDeleteEvery time I read anything you write, and I do mean anything, Linda, the first word that comes to mind is "Wow". More often than not, that's all I can think. This one does that.
ReplyDeletePowerful, sad, dark. Your words always wring emotions.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great reminder that we are all connected in ways often unseen.
You packed an incredible amount of emotion into 55 words. I'm thoroughly impressed. Excellent story.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he'll get unlucky this time.
ReplyDeleteMost excellent, friend.
ReplyDeleteTightly written, Linda.
ReplyDeleteDark and well written. Well done!
ReplyDeleteI thought it was dark at the beginning, but you took it to a whole new level. Really tight and packs a punch.
ReplyDeleteLovely and horribly depressing.
ReplyDeleteGreat write, Linda. You got the 55 words nailed.
Again, I am impressed (and envious). Your writing is always strong.
ReplyDeleteFigured he was spinning a revolver. You got a couple of clicks - quit being a coward and go make it a life, son!
ReplyDeletesaw this at the 'naut. didn't get it, now I do. silly me, very tight and potent . 55 is very challenging and you nailed it.
ReplyDeleteIt's the voices you do so well, I can always imagine they're in the room with me as I read. Their speech patterns are spot on every time.
ReplyDeleteMarc Nash
Excellent. The leanness here highlights so perfectly the sound and rhythm of language as well as distillation of emotion (interrelated nicely). So incredibly sad...
ReplyDeleteThanks all for reading -- I always appreciate the time and care you take when visiting. I always enjoy challenging myself with flash, but this one almost hammered me (along with the rest of the week). your kind, affirming words brings me a lot of joy because I had no idea how this story would be received. So thank you.
ReplyDeleteA few comments. Chrys, I have embedded a link -- SAMHSA's stuff comes to me as rss feed (as I am a vendor) and can't link. But in particular, there was a man who ran pleasure cruises who killed himself because business had dried up. On top of Katrina and the general lousy economy, the oil spill is kind of a final insult. to folks who rely on the Gulf for their livelihoods.
John, I was hoping to elicit both varieties of roulette -- the gambling kind and the gun.
SLowly making the rounds with your stories. peace...
So little but so damn much. I love it.
ReplyDelete:)
Jim Bronyaur
http://bit.ly/9cn2Z4 <--- my #fridayflash this week
This is great, especially in so few words. Let's hope he realizes that a click without a bang IS winning.
ReplyDeleteRead this before at Fictionaut, and it's still great! Nice job tackling 2 prompts in 1.
ReplyDeleteVery tight. I'm uncertain if I should hope he's lucky or unlucky, so I hope he finds a new game.
ReplyDeleteA very fitting story for this gray and rainy day here in the land of the sun. Great reading!
ReplyDeleteStunning, really, how his life is outlined in so few desperate words between turns of the roulette wheel, only to see the end of that life turn in the chamber of a gun. I'm always amazed at how such a seemingly gentle woman of 'peace' turns out such shocking, gritty stories. *tips my hat to you*
ReplyDeleteYet another really powerful piece, all the more powerful for its brevity.
ReplyDeleteThe reader can see, hear, feel everything going on. Excellently, excellently done.
Very striking piece, I envy you for such power in so few words.
ReplyDeleteTight and sharply written. The pain is acute. Great work, Linda.
ReplyDeleteJai
This works very well; as others have said.
ReplyDeleteA truly excellent example of how to speak volumes using such a very few words.
ReplyDeleteVery gritty and atmospheric.
Holy cow, Linda I am so envious of your ability to write like this. It is excellent.
ReplyDelete