Thursday, September 16, 2010

Third Time's The Charm

Spin.

Gimme lucky three.

Click.

Third wife, a trio of kiddos, three-bedroom rancher. Once, in Reno, I rolled threesies, won 30k. Still owe that much on the trawler.

Spin.

Clickety-click. Click.

Now, damn boat’s on blocks -- three years ‘til the shrimp come clean. No jobs except drinking. Plum outta luck, one bullet left.

Spin.

***

Inspired by so many things: the 52-250 Flash Challenge theme 'lucky number'; another 55-word story challenge; and theme challenge 'oil'.

But mostly inspired by a quiet report released by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration that finds the BP catastrophe has wrought human troubles as well, including including depression and suicide among those who rely on healthy Gulf water to eke out a living.

Peace, Linda

29 comments:

  1. As always, brilliant! And very sad. And dark. You do dark so well. I am always impressed by how much you convey with so few words.

    Do you have any links to that article? I'd be very interested to read it.

    P.S. How's Pure? :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I really love this Linda and am so impressed by the strength of a story with such brevity. It had a rhythm and flow and it had an important message, as well as great voice. Excellent

    ReplyDelete
  3. Every time I read anything you write, and I do mean anything, Linda, the first word that comes to mind is "Wow". More often than not, that's all I can think. This one does that.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Powerful, sad, dark. Your words always wring emotions.
    This is a great reminder that we are all connected in ways often unseen.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You packed an incredible amount of emotion into 55 words. I'm thoroughly impressed. Excellent story.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I thought it was dark at the beginning, but you took it to a whole new level. Really tight and packs a punch.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Lovely and horribly depressing.

    Great write, Linda. You got the 55 words nailed.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Again, I am impressed (and envious). Your writing is always strong.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Figured he was spinning a revolver. You got a couple of clicks - quit being a coward and go make it a life, son!

    ReplyDelete
  10. saw this at the 'naut. didn't get it, now I do. silly me, very tight and potent . 55 is very challenging and you nailed it.

    ReplyDelete
  11. It's the voices you do so well, I can always imagine they're in the room with me as I read. Their speech patterns are spot on every time.

    Marc Nash

    ReplyDelete
  12. Excellent. The leanness here highlights so perfectly the sound and rhythm of language as well as distillation of emotion (interrelated nicely). So incredibly sad...

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thanks all for reading -- I always appreciate the time and care you take when visiting. I always enjoy challenging myself with flash, but this one almost hammered me (along with the rest of the week). your kind, affirming words brings me a lot of joy because I had no idea how this story would be received. So thank you.

    A few comments. Chrys, I have embedded a link -- SAMHSA's stuff comes to me as rss feed (as I am a vendor) and can't link. But in particular, there was a man who ran pleasure cruises who killed himself because business had dried up. On top of Katrina and the general lousy economy, the oil spill is kind of a final insult. to folks who rely on the Gulf for their livelihoods.

    John, I was hoping to elicit both varieties of roulette -- the gambling kind and the gun.

    SLowly making the rounds with your stories. peace...

    ReplyDelete
  14. So little but so damn much. I love it.

    :)

    Jim Bronyaur
    http://bit.ly/9cn2Z4 <--- my #fridayflash this week

    ReplyDelete
  15. This is great, especially in so few words. Let's hope he realizes that a click without a bang IS winning.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Read this before at Fictionaut, and it's still great! Nice job tackling 2 prompts in 1.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Very tight. I'm uncertain if I should hope he's lucky or unlucky, so I hope he finds a new game.

    ReplyDelete
  18. A very fitting story for this gray and rainy day here in the land of the sun. Great reading!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Stunning, really, how his life is outlined in so few desperate words between turns of the roulette wheel, only to see the end of that life turn in the chamber of a gun. I'm always amazed at how such a seemingly gentle woman of 'peace' turns out such shocking, gritty stories. *tips my hat to you*

    ReplyDelete
  20. Yet another really powerful piece, all the more powerful for its brevity.

    The reader can see, hear, feel everything going on. Excellently, excellently done.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Very striking piece, I envy you for such power in so few words.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Tight and sharply written. The pain is acute. Great work, Linda.

    Jai

    ReplyDelete
  23. This works very well; as others have said.

    ReplyDelete
  24. A truly excellent example of how to speak volumes using such a very few words.

    Very gritty and atmospheric.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Holy cow, Linda I am so envious of your ability to write like this. It is excellent.

    ReplyDelete