Friday, April 29, 2011

Another Year (or Point A to Point B Makes a Line)

Birthdays are sort of like New Year’s Eve – a day to take stock of where you’ve been and where you’re going. This year’s ‘event’ has loomed a bit like a train speeding down a tunnel where there’s no pinprick of white at the end. And now, the day is here and all I can think is, ‘Wow, I breathe. I walk. I think. I talk.’ No big deal, really.

So Point A of the past year started with the sense I needed change, not immediate, not even mid-term, but long-term change. This time last year ennui filled my days, a restlessness, and a desire for something ‘new’. Mid-life, I suppose, and not easily fixable with a sports car (well, maybe a Maserati 420) and certainly I have no desire to trade in my husband or kiddos (I love them all dearly). That caged-in feeling dwelled deep in me, so it was up to me to figure out that hollow-sounding clanging below my diaphragm.

This is what I learned:
--The work I do for pay is satisfying, but it is just… work.
--I get my greatest joy and satisfaction with my family – even if they are individually or collectively driving me bonkers.
--Friends are not what always seem.
--Those who you do not consider friends will surprise you – in the best way – if you remain open to the possibility.
--Happiness comes from within, not without; it is all about attitude.
--I am too quick to anger (hormones).
--Writing is my passion and the single thing that anchors my life beyond my family.
--The best things in life take time.

Point B starts now.
Today. A new beginning, and one heading up to Point C, which is a Big Point. The next year holds a lot of promise. Once again, it all begins with me. My resolutions for this upcoming journey include:
--Let the crap roll off my back (where crap = office politics, other people’s bad manners, kids’ temper tantrums, rejections).
--Spend more time listening (and save money on the cream I use to reduce wrinkles around my lips).
--Strive for better balance between demands, and always do what is important first (my father always said – pay the piper first).
--Spend more time with girlfriends.

And to zap the ennui, I am applying to graduate schools for writing. I have four ‘top tier’ programs in mind -- three low-residency, one a local part-time. The application process evokes all these horrible memories of college and graduate school applications – official transcripts, essays (why I want to go into a writing program, blah-blah-blah), and what really terrifies – letters of reference! Ack! This is one time when I truly wish the ‘writing is everything’ adage held true.

I’m looking forward to a productive year and one less filled with inner turmoil. Thank you for sharing the journey with me. Peace…

P.S. If you are looking for my #fridayflash #52/250 #napowrimo weekly contribution, please wander: HERE


  1. Well, dear Woman, let me be the first to say Happy Birthday! Next, thank you for this post. I feel a bit lost at the moment and these are some great grounding points. Hugs and best wishes to you and your family and to you finding a good graduate writing school.

  2. Happy B-Day, O Philosophical One. Just remember tomorrow the new beginnings embarked upon today.

    From one Taurus to another..

  3. You go Linda! Love this post so much. You are right about...everything. So, I'm going back to my school for my masters in Eng with a writing concentration - which means we are yet again journeying together. So happy you've named your thing, and I look forward to watching it all unfold. Here's to you, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

  4. Happy b-day! Best of luck in your quest.

  5. Well, Happy Belated Birthday! So much to look forward to in the new year!

    I have been looking at graduate programs as well and just have to get off my duff and follow though...
    I think I will just start next winter with a writing course at our local U to get me back into learning mode and get serious about the graduate part the next year. sigh

  6. About as unorthodox a post, fiction or non-, as you could find. Happy birthday, lady.

  7. Happy Birthday my dear internet Linda.

    I'm sure you will make it through the applications process, you are smart that way. Essay on why you want to be in a writing program... well I'm sure you will come up with at least one good reason.

    Don't worry GF, only your children have gotten my dear are just as young as you were day before yesterday.


  8. I missed your birthday, so sorry!!!! Hope it was delicious.
    And you're going back to school? YAY!!! It sounds so exciting! Good for you, Linda, good for you.
    As for the quick of anger thing? Hormones - you're absolutely right. I keep a bottle of Midol PMS on hand for the really bad days - taking one is like tranquilizing a raging elephant.