Sun-kissed curls bouncing, the child patters through sea-foam. A shell glistens. Water surges, a wall of green and white. Sand shifts beneath her toes.
My small contribution to #fridayflash.
Peace, Linda
Friday, September 18, 2009
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Last story I read before I go and rest my poor little eyes. Your soothing, lyrical piece made them very happy!
ReplyDeleteWhat a breath of fresh sea air. Thank you for this, Linda.
ReplyDeleteLyrical and crisp as ever.
I love how your quiet lyrics hide a tragic undertow...a feat I've seen you pull off in other works. Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteVery nice. You could classify this wonderful piece as hint fiction. Very nice indeed.
ReplyDeleteThanks guys. Laura, undertow indeed; an earlier title was Riptide. Chris, thank you for dropping by. This is indeed hint fiction, one of several I was playing with but missed Robert Swartwood's deadline due to a family emergency. So here is one for public consumption... Peace, Linda
ReplyDeleteI felt a sense of foreboding on reading this. Don't keep me in suspense. Either turn it into a short story or write a sequel.
ReplyDeleteJai
This is lovely! There's a certain feeling of peace that is fully encompassed in your words. So calming... I feel like I'm being rocked to sleep by the sea's waves.
ReplyDeleteGreat job!
Ack! I was a lifeguard and my kids have curly hair and I'm secretly scared of the ocean and and ... Beautiful piece, stirred up small whirlpool of reactions in me.
ReplyDeleteYikes. I was rereading it again, smiling at the image then I noticed the title and my heart jumped. Very subtle way to lull your reader and then stop their heart...lol. I've never heard of hint fiction, I like it!
ReplyDeleteI like the way the title itself is sort of part of the prose, rather than merely acting as a description
ReplyDeleteWow. Ominous and beautiful at the same time.
ReplyDeleteNice combination of the body of the story and the title. And the contrast of the two adds punch to the story.
ReplyDelete- KjM (Open ID seems to be having a problem - I'm not really hexadecimal, I think)
Well done, Linda. Shows just how important a part the title is to a piece of fiction. Two completely different stories here, with and without the title. That's sharp.
ReplyDelete~jon
Thank you all for reading my first fridayflash. I'm stil lmaking the rounds reading them all - fabulous writers here.
ReplyDeleteHint fiction is, by definition, 25 words or shorter, not including the title. Which is why the title is so important. Furthermore, hint fiction is not a complete story so much as allusion to something or someone that makes you go... hmmmm. More than a pretty vignette, and less than a complete story. A real challenge to write, but very satisfying. Hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed penning. Peace, Linda
This is my favourite type of fiction, short, crisp and efficient. Every word counts. You do this beautifully. This one grabbed me when I first read it on Friday and has not yet let me go.
ReplyDeleteThanks Laurita. I remember your EU flash fiction piece and, truth be told, this one reminded me of yours. Calamity at ocean's edge... thank you. Peace, Linda
ReplyDeleteFinally stopped by your #fridayflash post, Linda. Sorry I arrived so late. This piece strikes a horrifying note in such a short time. Well done and welcome to the party.
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