Thursday, November 04, 2010

CHAIR ON HIGH

Three sabbatical applications. One slot.

The Department Chair taps the manila envelopes into a pile then splays them over her desk like a short deck of cards.

She sips her Tazo Lotus and Zen tea. Dinner. What she’d really like is a porterhouse rare and a Tanqueray martini with extra olives. But like most nights, she’s in her office catching up on administrative detritus. The Dean expects her decision tomorrow morning. Who to choose?

Dr. R-W: The rising star: three graduate students win prestigious dissertation awards, eleven first-author manuscripts, an impressive NIH grant portfolio. Up for promotion to Full Professor in two years but already can check ‘Distinguished’ in service, scholarship, teaching. All while popping out two kids.

Dr. S: Emeritus. Proverbial dead wood, but so agreeable with the Chair – on everything. Smiles a lot. Does as told. Tremendous talent greasing the Dean’s wheels. Aims to re-energize flagging research.

Dr. W: Highly productive, well-connected, funds half the programming staff. Asshole prima donna -- he threw a pencil at a post-doc, who’s now rumbling about suing the university on charges of bullying and harassment. Her greatest headache.

She leans back and stares at the empty cup, looking for an answer, but the tea’s bagged not loose. She weighs the data: expedience or merit? Seniority or promise? Hell, she never got a sabbatical -- she deserves a break.

She types the recommendation. Tonight she’ll treat herself to a congratulatory dinner after all – work will be more pleasant next year.


***

Inspired by this week's 52-250 Flash a Year Challenge theme: least favorite. And hey, this is kind of how it really is in the Ivory Tower. Peace, Linda

20 comments:

  1. This is PRECISELY how personnel decisions are made. SOO glad to be out of there!! Great post! Simply wonderfully accurate!

    ReplyDelete
  2. And so it goes... Taut and well-done, Ms. Linda.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ha! Good for her. :) Another excellent story Linda. Some days I wish I could grant sabbaticals.....

    ReplyDelete
  4. Not a wasted word here. So very good. And a rare steak would hit the spot right about now. And the martini. :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. would I be wrong in surmising partially drawn from experience here? Had a real feeling behind it!

    marc nash

    ReplyDelete
  6. Really interesting story, Linda. I find myself mulling over her decision. It's a real morality play. Obviously RW deserves the sabbatical (I have no idea how she balances all that with two children) but it would be tempting to get rid of Mr. Prima Donna. Anything that grabs my attention and makes me speculate is a great story in my book.
    And those olives... they look so GOOD...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ah, the truth! Wonderfully written Linda. As Marisa said, not one word wasted. Fantastic!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh, yes indeed. Merit is certainly only one factor in such decisions.

    Great slice of life, Linda

    ReplyDelete
  9. Excellent story! I'm sure that's how most decisions are made.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Go with R-W, but only if they'll join your tea party.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Being mired in academia myself, I am familiar with all the doctors listed above. You captured them perfectly. Wonderful

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thanks for reading folks!

    What, real life? Moi? I can only assure you one thing -- I am NOT the Chair! And I thought about serving that martini with a lemon twist, but why be bitter?

    Peace...

    ReplyDelete
  13. Like Tony mentioned, merit isn't the only factor. Time after time, I've seen the corporate world promote tarnished brass instead of gold, and the reasons can only be guessed at. Though guessing isn't too far off the mark, I believe. Good story, Linda.

    ReplyDelete
  14. This tale is so realistic. Nicely written.

    eeny, meeny, miney, moe. Hmmmm.

    Follow your heart. :D

    ReplyDelete
  15. interesting and realistic view into a slice of someone else's world... I am curious who she picked.

    ReplyDelete
  16. This certainly is thought-provoking stuff, Linda...

    And yup a steak and a martini sounds pretty good right about now...

    ReplyDelete
  17. It's nine in the morning, and now I want a steak and a martini too. I really felt like I was in that office. Your short pieces are staggering. So good.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Those decisions always look like simple choices but come with a whole load of additional baggage and politics. I recognised the types of professor - great piece. It felt very true to life.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Steaks and martinis in the am... sounds good to me. Followed by a nap!

    Thanks all for reading. It IS true to life.

    There are days when I go to work and I wonder -- did they just airlift me to some barren island to duke it our for the million dollar prize? Peace...

    ReplyDelete