The small room reeks; yellow urine puddles by the john, streamers of toilet paper and clods of crap circle slowly in the bowl. I do my thing, then cling to the sink as white and grey dots skitter across my open eyes. A hot, heavy fullness bubbles up my throat; an urge to vomit up all the chemicals strikes me, but I swallow it down, blast the faucet and splash myself with water. Bloodshot eyes stare back from the glittering glass, the green of iris obscured by vacant, opaque cisterns. I shake my head, but nothing changes; the stranger gazes back at me. Someone bangs on the door, so I turn from the sink, stagger back to the ballroom.--
(A rerun, originally published in Six Sentences: Volume 1, 2008, and an excerpt from BRIGHTER THAN BRIGHT)
Peace, Linda
Posts
Such clear sharp precise vivid language. You do the Imagists proud!
ReplyDeleteVery vivid imagery - and a strangely familiar scene from a previous life of someone not a million miles from here :-)
ReplyDeleteGreat choice of words - skittering dots and opaque cisterns. Like the contrast too of the filthy toilet leading into the ballroom.
ReplyDeleteWow. Shit. Just read your short profile too...you have some alter-life going on in your head Linda!
ReplyDeleteJeez-sus! I was in the middle of eating an oatmeal raisin cookie when I read this. That stuff spnning in the commode...uh...almost made me toss my...uh...cookie.
ReplyDeleteVery vivid, Linda.
Ooh. That will swear you off the drink!
ReplyDeleteReading this reminded me of your powerful imagery in Brighter than Bright all over again. Like someone else, what jumped out at me was "the green of iris obscured by vacant, opaque cisterns." Wow.
ReplyDeleteYou just brought me back to the '70s with your story. Well told. Loved the ending. More truth than people realize.
ReplyDeletethanks fr visiting my page :)
ReplyDeleteThis is some of the tightest and directed prose I've seen from you yet, Linda. Can't wait to read the finished work.
ReplyDeleteVery vividly done. Nice, if sort of gross, work... hehe. :)
ReplyDeleteWell done.
I am so glad I haven't eaten supper yet. What superb imagery!
ReplyDeleteI love the Pow you give us Linda!
Unlike Angel, I know better than to eat while I'm reading fridayflash. You never know what you'll find.
ReplyDeleteYour alter ego comes up with some brilliantly descriptive druggie moments. Wow, Linda! Great stuff.
Harsh and vivid. Nicely done.
ReplyDelete~jon
Love the vivid description. The smartass in me wants to say, "Cinderella... is that you?"
ReplyDeleteThanks all for reading. My day job informs my writing, and my research involves mental illness and prescription drug abuse. I write what I know ;^)
ReplyDeleteMJ, my Ben doesn;t drink; his step-daddy cured him of that.
And yes, Melissa, this is a scenelet from my party scene in BTB.
Off to read more flashes... Peace, Linda
Stellar signal to noise ratio here, which is to say: all killer, no filler.
ReplyDeleteSuperbly written. Really loved the taste of this piece.
ReplyDeleteTrev, 'all killer, no filler'. Just like my crabcakes. Tx!
ReplyDeleteHey Robert, thanks! As good as my crabcakes ;^)
Peace, Linda