Monday, June 20, 2011

Metro to the City

They wear hoodies
and pants slung low,
tattoos down necks
like Chinese
their girls swagger
hard consonants
needling thin air
the train goes quiet
I hide behind my book


My small contribution to the ever-enduring Language > Place carnival Blog. Julia Davies hosts Edition #7 with the theme Unwritten Language - Unnamed Places. This poem inspired by my daily metro ride. On the last day of school the kids on the metro talked louder, at higher pitch, their excitability turning aggressive.

A HUGE thank you to Julia Davies for putting this puzzle together. Peace...


  1. Hard consonants needling thin air. I can feel that.

  2. I loved the "hard consonants needling thin air" as well - it resonates so well visually.

  3. good to find you here! loved the hard consonants.


  4. Ah, I am with the commenting on the hard consonants too. When I first read it, I read "needing thin air." Then I realized it was "needling." I think there is some needing that gets left left in the "needling." I like it, lots. :)

  5. Yes, the 'hard consonants' and also the hiding behind a book - excellent.

  6. Reminds me of the train in Germany. Nice one.

  7. Nice, terse and hard. I have always thought it more difficult to write a short piece - it has to be so concentrated and work so hard. This one does. Has real resonance as well, reminds me of my days riding the tube in London.