They wear hoodies
and pants slung low,
tattoos down necks
like Chinese
calligraphs
their girls swagger
hard consonants
needling thin air
the train goes quiet
I hide behind my book
***
My small contribution to the ever-enduring Language > Place carnival Blog. Julia Davies hosts Edition #7 with the theme Unwritten Language - Unnamed Places. This poem inspired by my daily metro ride. On the last day of school the kids on the metro talked louder, at higher pitch, their excitability turning aggressive.
A HUGE thank you to Julia Davies for putting this puzzle together. Peace...
Posts
Hard consonants needling thin air. I can feel that.
ReplyDeleteI loved the "hard consonants needling thin air" as well - it resonates so well visually.
ReplyDeletegood to find you here! loved the hard consonants.
ReplyDeletesherry
Ah, I am with the commenting on the hard consonants too. When I first read it, I read "needing thin air." Then I realized it was "needling." I think there is some needing that gets left left in the "needling." I like it, lots. :)
ReplyDeleteYes, the 'hard consonants' and also the hiding behind a book - excellent.
ReplyDeleteReminds me of the train in Germany. Nice one.
ReplyDeletetheir girls swagger..
ReplyDeleteNice, terse and hard. I have always thought it more difficult to write a short piece - it has to be so concentrated and work so hard. This one does. Has real resonance as well, reminds me of my days riding the tube in London.
ReplyDelete