Thursday, December 09, 2010

The Watch

After the wolves killed the sheep, then Damien, I fled the backcountry. Without cricket and tree frog song, the silence grew too deep.

I packed light: food for a lifetime, clothes and boots, and all the guns. One photo of my love, sewn into the pocket over my heart. The audio of our poetry.

On the last night, I siphoned 30 gallons of ethanol to power the ATV, and sloshed the rest around the perimeter of the house, the shed, the still. The timber flared with a loud wumph. The wolves gathered, mesmerized by the flames. Their low snarls trailed me as I drove from the forest, the evening star obscured by smoke.

It took three days to reach the City. From the top of the tower, I watched the horizon. The tinny pop of guns from the last of the resistance punctuated the low whine of advancing tanks. For some reason, these noises comforted me.


***

The cusp of a new year always brings out the dystopian in me. Inspired by the 52-250 Flash a Year Challenge Theme: Urban Convert.

Coming up next week: The Twelve Days of Books. Stay tuned. And stay warm! Peace, Linda

21 comments:

  1. That was incredible. I love dystopian stories. You should have posted it at the 52/250 site too, so others would have seen it. Thanks for sharing. :)

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  2. Powerful stuff Linda, you should do dystopian more often. I could hear that whoosh of the fire, feel the heat. So well done!

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  3. Your writing is always so beautiful, Linda, that I'm entranced from the first word. Another excellent bit of flash.

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  4. comfort comes from the strangest corners. cool take.

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  5. Linda, this was chilling! You created a world in so few words, as I've seen you do many times before. Vivid stuff.

    Jai

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  6. Food for a lifetime is light packing?

    Otherwise, hey, sure! Damien's a rotten kid, hopefully those tanks are aiming against the Lake of Fire.

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  7. What a wonderful writer, I love the phrase 'tree frog song' among many other great lines. I really admire how you get the sense of atmosphere so quickly and make us care. Succint but effective descriptions too. We could take a masterclass from you. :-)

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  8. I loved this line:

    "I packed light: food for a lifetime, clothes and boots, and all the guns."

    It encompasses so much-- "food for a lifetime" hints that she/he didn't expect life to last long, but "all the guns" says that she/he wasn't going down w/o a fight.


    Really enjoyed this tale.
    :0)

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  9. How do you manage to write such a 'deep' story in so few paragraphs????? *jealous*

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  10. Excellent story. The descriptions in this were fantastic.

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  11. The Italian expression il bello abbozzo describes what you do: beautiful sketch. Incredible.

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  12. Nice job. The descriptions were spot on. I especially enjoyed the tinny pop of guns punctuating the low whine of advancing tanks. Such poetry in that line.

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  13. Dystopian indeed. Very vivid yet stark. Well done.
    ~jon

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  14. short and powerful
    Read mine?
    http://magicnmiranda.blogspot.com/2010/12/waiting-one-night.html

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  15. This certainly has a dystophian whiff, not just in the ethanol. You've said so much in so little words - real talent. Looking fwd to next week.:)

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  16. A well-crafted glimpse at what could be a powerful story. Nicely done, Linda.

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  17. as ususal I heard the pops and felt the jaring ride, broken hearted all the way

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  18. I'm impressed. Please accept an award from me for having a very good blog. Please see my blog for details: http://darlassandcastles.blogspot.com/. I hope you have time to participate in the fun of promoting others. In the meantime, I'm happy to have found you on a random search through the blogosphere.

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  19. A gripping sequence, delivered in bold strokes. Nice work.

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