Thursday, October 21, 2010

SNOWSTORM

Wind slams the trailer. Dolores and Marty cook through the Nor’easter. JJ’s late.

“He ain’t coming,” Marty says. “Time to sample the goods.”

The blade slices the white mound, tap-tap-tapping crystalline lines on glass.

“JJ’s gonna be pissed.” Dolores malt-liquored breath scatters the powder.

Marty shrugs, rolls the twenty. Saliva gushes.

The door blows open.


***

Inspired by the 52-250 Flash A Year Challenge theme: long lines.

Of course, my head always goes to drugs. Also inspired the oddly satisfying challenge of writing 55-word stories. Peace, Linda

21 comments:

  1. Linda, you are the master of giving us a whole world with but a few words.

    This is powerful, and of course I'm picturing guns with that door blowing open on such an environment!

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  2. Something just blew, thanks for sure. Linda, you're so good at conveying so much in so few words.

    Jai

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  3. Excellent story told in such few words. Well done!

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  4. Drugs fascinate in every form. Not a fan of being the subject but the remarkable changes brought on leave an endless sea of inspiration.

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  5. Love the interpretation of the prompt. Another fantastic story in so few words.

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  6. Yeah, it's great and all, perfect language, great scene-setting in a few words but, but.. you can't leave us hanging here, Linda... what HAPPENS? *shakes Linda by her collar* I beg you! Tell! TELL!
    LOL - kidding. I've obviously had too much caffiene, today.
    Good one - I read it earlier at work but couldn't comment... because it was work... just as good a few hours later...
    (OK. you can tell me now, everyone is gone, what happens?)

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  7. I dont thnk that's Santa at the door... Graet work in such few words.

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  8. Blows, get it? Ah-ha!

    Brilliant diversion tactic with the word "cooks" in the first sentence, Linda.

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  9. Cleverly written and the scene is perfectly painted with your choice of words, even allowing for a little word play. Well done.

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  10. Linda, nice micro piece, and nice job of effectively using the different meanings of "snow."

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  11. Great scene, and sketched in so few words!

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  12. You keep getting better with these very short stories.

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  13. rich, just so very rich in so scant words

    marc

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  14. Oh, that can't end well.

    Nice, tight writing.

    Well done, Linda.

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  15. Wow! So much depth in so few words. I suspect they're gonna wish they'd waited for JJ.

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  16. That's like the little click just before the bullet flies through the barrel.

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  17. Nice, Linda. Truly admired you economy of words here...

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  18. Ominous ending, Linda. When you're dealing with meth, "Pissed" can be putting it lightly.

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  19. Wow Linda I don't know how you get character,story,fluid, pleasing language in just a few words. Very impressive.

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  20. Hey you kind readers -- thanks! My weekend passed in a poof! I had fun with this piece, and what's really quite cool is that some of my word 'play' was unintentional (like 'blows' and 'cooks'. I need the Whis to show me these things!). Channeling the inner muse I guess...

    Still making the rounds. Peace...

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