Some call it serendipity.
In one week... one query rejection, three poetry submission rejections, one weird crit from a contest, and three politically charged days at my ivory garret where the techtonic plates of change rended so rapidly I was stranded in tears by Wednesday afternoon...
I was paralyzed. The writing suffered, my head and heart constipated from all this anxious stuff. For the first time in over two years, writing wasn't fun.
All this left me questioning... Why do I work? Why do I write? Why do I even bother to TRY to CREATE? It was like the WWF in my head - EVIL EDITOR faces off with CRAZY CREATOR. The whole leftbrain/rightbrain struggle. In other words, an existential crisis of sorts, further fueled by exhaustion, grant proposal deadlines, and hormones.
But then, all this nasty karma suddenly counterweighted by a poet friend who reminded me of the subjectivity of reading. Then, a sudden request to present a sermon next Sunday on Creativity. Ughh... as if I don't have enough to do. Quick research on the topic made me aware of several resources to explore. Then, a friend, unaware of both the upcoming sermon and my predicament of the soul, gifted me with one of those resources - THE ARTIST'S WAY - in which the first chapter miraculously states:
"TO LIVE A CREATIVE LIFE, WE MUST LOSE OUR FEAR OF BEING WRONG." (Joseph Chilton Pearce).
"Block" undone. 6700 words written this weekend. Sermon sketched out. Blog posted. Idea for poem scraped on paper. I will venture again into the wild, woolly world of marketing... soon. First, need to continue stoking that confidence, you know, the manifesting stuff.
Name your fear; it becomes your ally.
Synchronicity.
Peace, Linda
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Hi Linda
ReplyDeleteGreat post! Very much in vein I was in over the weekend. All very why am I here? Answer: mostly for the coffee and doughnuts.
The Joseph Chilton Pearce quote is very interesting. The fear of being wrong is something that I and a number of people that I work with have been musing over. We work in government and it seems to us that governments at all levels have become paralysed into not doing anything because of "what if I'm wrong?"
Imagine where America would have been if the 13 Colonies had decided we better not doing anything in case we may be wrong!
I'm with Admiral David Farragut "Damn the torpedoes. Full steam ahead!"
Oh Linda, I LOVE Artist's Way. I'm really excited for you to have that book and hope it continues to inspire you.
ReplyDeleteGreat quote. I think there are other fears to lose too, but being wrong is a big one!
Good on you for the writing blitz.
THanks for stopping by my blog! You don't look uptight in your photo. I see earrings. That means you're friendly.
ReplyDelete:-)
Sounds like a heck of a week. I've had those. You can't wallow in pity too long. A little, yes, is healing. But get right back to your goals.
so happy that the dra-ma filled week ended so wonderfully. that is a great amount of word count! i am doing much /bootay shaking for you! =D awesome!!
ReplyDeleteand it's a constant conquering of our own doubts and fears, yes, but it is well worth the journey!
Name your fear; it becomes your ally.
ReplyDeleteI loved this posting, Linda. I, too, struggle with the dueling minds of my creative and critical sides, and I've had to face those same questions within the last week, wondering if I'm just wasting my time and whether I should be doing something else. Thankfully, that stubborn heart within me sided with my creativity, and I'm still pushing foreward.
Thank you for sharing.
Stephen 1, you crack me up - donuts and coffee. Hell, I'm here for the boxed wine and cheese whiz on Ritz. And meet Stephen 2 below - I adore you both, you're both wise and wonderful writers. Remember that!
ReplyDeleteStephen 2, sorry you've been wallowing as well. Something's in the H2O - everyone I know's all funked up. Hang in there, babycakes...
Chrys. Hey! I wrote a corollary to that quote for my sermon this Sunday - "...we must lose our fear of being PERFECT". Very wabi sabi. And the blitzkrieg continues - check out my word-o-meter to the right somewhere...
The Other Chris With an I... Thanks for popping by. I just discovered your wonderful blog and now you're resting :^( But thanks mightily for the swift kick to the pity party - you are correct about the wallowing. I only scare my students - and my department chair. Maybe that's the reason for tomorrow's coup...
And Cindy... thank you. I barely know you (the beauty of Moonie's blog fest last month was 'meeting' a bunch of wonderful writers) but am enjoying your journey, your blog, and your sweet kindness. And bootay shaking - yeah!
Yes, better spirits indeed. Take that, you meanie editors! And that!
Peace, Linda
Name your fear; it becomes your ally.
ReplyDeleteI'm finding it's not enough to name it. You must dance with it as well.
:(
I'm sorry you had such a rough week. I'm glad to see the 6700 though. Keep going, keep going.
Off now to go and try to teach my fear the limbo. It only wants to waltz, and I find this no fun.
Congrats Linda on your revelation. I believe some things (like writing) have more to do with the desire of our hearts than our heads. This seems to be my predicament.
ReplyDeleteTwizzle, my fear and I are cutting up the rug with a tango -care to join us? Maybe after those revisions (go TWIZ!)...
ReplyDeleteMJ, If I have to choose, I'll take heart over head any day - it's a lovely predicament to be in. Let's wallow together. Peace, Linda