tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7186877685534377957.post5572704290313433996..comments2023-08-17T04:03:48.173-04:00Comments on leftbrainwrite: Can't WaitLindahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01110078016784294934noreply@blogger.comBlogger38125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7186877685534377957.post-36584768658591297092010-08-24T16:00:10.754-04:002010-08-24T16:00:10.754-04:00That's a hell of a sentence, Linda! Great job ...That's a hell of a sentence, Linda! Great job with the voice.Danielle La Pagliahttp://www.daniellelapaglia.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7186877685534377957.post-27951916667617925132010-08-23T11:43:35.818-04:002010-08-23T11:43:35.818-04:00I agree, the run-on stream of consciousness worked...I agree, the run-on stream of consciousness worked so well here.<br />~jonJ. M. Strotherhttp://www.jmstrother.com/MadUtopia/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7186877685534377957.post-87697775354724883902010-08-22T17:59:50.361-04:002010-08-22T17:59:50.361-04:00Wow, it feels like it's my birthday or somethi...Wow, it feels like it's my birthday or something -- thank you all for reading and dropping notes about my story. Wow. Just back from visiting my mother sans itnernet and catching up, I'm overwhelemd by your responses. I'll read more carefully later, and promise to read each of your stories over the next few nights. THANK YOU -- made my week. peace...Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01110078016784294934noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7186877685534377957.post-65393158494718067382010-08-22T11:39:00.519-04:002010-08-22T11:39:00.519-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Pamila Paynehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14398900249578356483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7186877685534377957.post-92041667837583652902010-08-22T11:38:23.498-04:002010-08-22T11:38:23.498-04:00For such a short piece, that was a very intense vi...For such a short piece, that was a very intense view into an off track life. And then that last line, really gets you.Pamila Paynehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14398900249578356483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7186877685534377957.post-83164091839039748512010-08-21T16:13:06.286-04:002010-08-21T16:13:06.286-04:00Wow. Great verbal gymnastics. Those fluid clause c...Wow. Great verbal gymnastics. Those fluid clause contortions were awesomeAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7186877685534377957.post-24733502971732536472010-08-21T13:49:18.549-04:002010-08-21T13:49:18.549-04:00Wow, there's a lot packed into this sentence. ...Wow, there's a lot packed into this sentence. And it hangs together beautifully. As others have stated, this is a terrific voice.<br /><br />Really well done.<br /><br />And, hey! I like Russian River (to say nothing of Big Sur) :)KjMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17691028465137798738noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7186877685534377957.post-61540794084229135212010-08-21T07:10:50.514-04:002010-08-21T07:10:50.514-04:00Excellent, excellent, excellent. The one long sent...Excellent, excellent, excellent. The one long sentence was perfect for the character's voice thought processes.Rachel Blackbirdsonghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02246966713076881105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7186877685534377957.post-13615458196598089092010-08-21T00:09:07.071-04:002010-08-21T00:09:07.071-04:00Good story! Loved the flow of it--one long, pushed...Good story! Loved the flow of it--one long, pushed-together thought. It made it seem authentic from this narrator.Eric J. Krausehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05774468607814244185noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7186877685534377957.post-11247753002473245172010-08-20T23:00:28.955-04:002010-08-20T23:00:28.955-04:00Amazing. Just amazing. Excuse me, I must off to th...Amazing. Just amazing. Excuse me, I must off to the woodshed for a year or two now ...Mike Robertsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09067537471948526219noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7186877685534377957.post-83208217164797163132010-08-20T21:03:26.033-04:002010-08-20T21:03:26.033-04:00Y'know most editors would give ya crap for run...Y'know most editors would give ya crap for run-on sentences but most editors haven't set eyes on this righteous beauty.<br />Big, big thumb's up on this one Linda.Cathy Olliffe-Websterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12729578896443750402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7186877685534377957.post-32276565265322787752010-08-20T20:54:57.286-04:002010-08-20T20:54:57.286-04:00Awesome good -- and real -- sense of tempo and rhy...Awesome good -- and real -- sense of tempo and rhythm. Nice work.Janet Lingel Aldrichhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05633969913976791146noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7186877685534377957.post-9673332142053776002010-08-20T17:57:59.329-04:002010-08-20T17:57:59.329-04:00This was wonderful the first time I read it at the...This was wonderful the first time I read it at the 52/250 Flash site, and it's wonderful the 2nd time around. :)Cat Russellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14160039271069426174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7186877685534377957.post-432073297684827622010-08-20T16:40:58.995-04:002010-08-20T16:40:58.995-04:00That's literary origami, all one sentence intr...That's literary origami, all one sentence intricately folded to show two points of view in one powerful voice resulting in a bit of magic - Wow.Mark Kerstetterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13307987573435067415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7186877685534377957.post-30690144356291838462010-08-20T15:20:38.041-04:002010-08-20T15:20:38.041-04:00You do so well at conveying the rawness of a chara...You do so well at conveying the rawness of a character's emotions. I'm always impressed when I read your pieces.<br /><br />JaiJai Joshihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04858987106548357551noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7186877685534377957.post-82298442824109175702010-08-20T14:38:16.973-04:002010-08-20T14:38:16.973-04:00I've become such a fan of yours, and this piec...I've become such a fan of yours, and this piece is outrageously good. SoC is hard to do, and you make it seem so effortless.<br /><br />Perfect, glorious piece.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04548995059233308982noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7186877685534377957.post-38257003365050432262010-08-20T13:52:58.206-04:002010-08-20T13:52:58.206-04:00Linda, I'm going to cheat and use my fn commen...Linda, I'm going to cheat and use my fn comments: Great sense of voice in this. I like where this narrator takes us.<br /><br />I'll also add that I didn't realize this was one sentence until you pointed that out. I think that means there's some wonderful crafting you did here to turn a one sentence story into something more.Christian Bellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03160609304010597116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7186877685534377957.post-66595440560532121982010-08-20T12:36:06.668-04:002010-08-20T12:36:06.668-04:00I can picture a young, lanky guy, longish hair, un...I can picture a young, lanky guy, longish hair, unkempt scruff sprouting on his face -- stuffing taco shells, flashing a stiff smile and faraway eyes at customers as he's running this monologue through his mind. <br /><br />Wonderful stuff. :)Kim/Kenaipinoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7186877685534377957.post-9441682905106070242010-08-20T12:30:27.486-04:002010-08-20T12:30:27.486-04:00Well written and mucho entertaining!Well written and mucho entertaining!Louise Dragonhttp://weezel-whatscaresyou.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7186877685534377957.post-48980506523152521052010-08-20T09:55:14.561-04:002010-08-20T09:55:14.561-04:00great vibe - and such a powerful ending. what a ri...great vibe - and such a powerful ending. what a ride of a story.Dorotheehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17071668426716077347noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7186877685534377957.post-85275426356584037722010-08-20T08:54:02.847-04:002010-08-20T08:54:02.847-04:00Can one describe an explosion as being tight?
Wel...Can one describe an explosion as being tight?<br /><br />Well done, Linda.Tony Nolandhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15090583562737225942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7186877685534377957.post-81522396733818904392010-08-20T06:26:43.777-04:002010-08-20T06:26:43.777-04:00Linda, it seems like all I ever say to you is: &qu...Linda, it seems like all I ever say to you is: "Wow!" This story leaves me with nothing different - Wow. One long sentence, and it's perfection at its highest peak. The voice, as others have said, is outstanding. *Clapping, clapping*Deanna Schrayerhttp://theothersideofdeanna.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7186877685534377957.post-1164099859652917862010-08-20T00:48:26.525-04:002010-08-20T00:48:26.525-04:00There's nothing better than a tight, taut flas...There's nothing better than a tight, taut flash. Loved the brevity in this.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11413377601369107260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7186877685534377957.post-91329399971552929722010-08-19T21:55:56.924-04:002010-08-19T21:55:56.924-04:00I'm impressed - way to jump into a whole perso...I'm impressed - way to jump into a whole persona/voice. I was a little taken aback when I initially started reading but put that away pretty quick. Loved how the the voice kept the little crane and how the memory of the little Japanese lady added the humanity check.umbrellaladyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06640257199319618306noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7186877685534377957.post-19844936124303543162010-08-19T21:33:50.758-04:002010-08-19T21:33:50.758-04:00Peggy, thank you for reading. The more I edit, the...Peggy, thank you for reading. The more I edit, the more I learn. I'm so glad my words pleased you.<br /><br />John. John, John, John... Thank you. Your wonderful voice reading my words pays this story utmost honor. Peace...Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01110078016784294934noreply@blogger.com